I’ve been fascinated all weekend, but hardly surprised, by the growing Sheriff Paul Babeu scandal. The script is drearily familiar: a grandstanding right-winger gets caught with his pants down and is revealed as a gigantic hypocrite, then he doubles down, lies about significant details, and aims to brazen it out. Why not? It worked for David Vitter, after all, and even Larry Craig ended up finishing out his term. Never underestimate the power of IOKIYAR.
Sadly for him, “Sheriff Paul’s” case is a little different, in ways he or his nearly 1000 Facebook supporters can’t seem to grasp as yet. You see, Babeu’s boy toy happened to be Mexican, a terminal condition that is all but illegal in Arizona, thanks in part to the efforts of Babeu himself and the aging white supremacists who dominate the state’s politics. Not nearly as smart as he is clever (and horny), Babeu has chosen an oddly contradictory mixture of Gingrich-style umbrage at the liberal media mixed in with a newfound gay pride that echoes New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey’s famously tortured outing a few years back. It’s a nice, appropriately distracting message that, unfortunately, will ultimately fail with both of the two opposing audiences to which he’s trying to appeal, for a couple of ironclad reasons.
So far, he’s waxing confident; undaunted by being summarily dumped by the Romney campaign, he’s understandably bouyed by the love pouring out on his Facebook page, and still plans to continue his run for Congress, where until Thursday he was the front-runner. But Facebook fans are not voters, as Sarah Palin discovered to her untold chagrin, and I suspect Babeu will very soon. It’s fascinating to read the supporters’ comments, which break down into two main categories: lovelorn closet cases looking for a date with a man in uniform, and committed racists who quite suddenly think it’s okay to be gay as long as you hate Mexicans (these are the most poorly spelled, which explains why they evidently don’t get that he was PORKING one, fergawdsakes…). The detractors, though far fewer in number, are much more articulate, and for Sheriff Paul anyway, ominous. The first group state flatly that they’d never vote for a homo for any office, immigrant-bashing teabagger or no; while the second group are appalled that, as a highly visible public figure and candidate, he posted multiple compromising pictures (including one of his “7 inch cut” weinie, standing tall) on the internet in hopes of whipping up a hot batch of santorum with various strangers. The dozen or so liberals applauding his bravery and urging him to go forward and help enlighten his party on gay rights are not only irrelevant, they clearly have not seen the utterly disqualifying video above.
There’s a reason gay elected Republicans are about as common as hen’s teeth, something Babeu’s bloated ego doesn’t allow him to see: Republicans, especially at election time, are required to hate teh ghey, and in Arizona, they’re also required to hate Jose, which just so happens to be the name of the blabbermouth boyfriend. His two Republican opponents aren’t so blind, however, and are already launching barbed attacks which are certain to hit home in his overwhelmingly Republican district. As Tbogg aptly tweeted, “Obviously, when someone told Sheriff Babeu to “screw the Mexicans,” there was a horrible misunderstanding.” Indeed.
And if Babeu thinks he can win a Republican (!) primary as a fag who until just recently was slipping the bone to a (gasp) Mexican, that misunderstanding is about to be cleared up. The good news is that once he’s out of public life, it looks like he’ll find a sugar daddy, if not a Fox News slot, in no time.
